Special Monster Statistics

Monster	Attack (ML)	Defense	XP	HP	Initiative	Notes
Feast of Boris Monsters	Moxie - 3	Muscle - 3	Mainstat/4	Def * 0.75	100
El Dia de Los Muertos Borrachos Monsters	Moxie - 3	Muscle - 3	Mainstat/4	Def * 0.75	0
The Worm Wood Monsters	Moxie * 1.1 + ML, capped at 125+ML	Muscle + ML, capped at 125+ML	Mainstat/4	Def * 0.75		Doesn't count ML from Radio etc.
Mt Molehill Monsters	Moxie + ML, capped at 200+ML	Muscle + ML, capped at 200+ML	Mainstat/4	Def * 0.75
The Red Queen's Garden Monsters	Moxie + ML, capped at 200+ML	Muscle + ML, capped at 200+ML	Mainstat/4	Def * 0.75
Black Crayon Monsters	Moxie + ML, capped at 10,000 + ML	Muscle + ML, capped at 10,000 + ML	Mainstat/4	Def * 0.75
Hipster Monsters	Moxie + ML, capped at 10,000 + ML	Muscle + ML, capped at 10,000 + ML	Mainstat/4	Def * 0.75
Space Monsters	Moxie + ML, various caps	Muscle + ML, various caps	Mainstat/4	Def * 0.75		Caps not affected by ML
Hidden Temple Monsters	Moxie + ML, capped at 50 + ML	Muscle + ML, capped at 50 + ML	Mainstat/4	Def * 0.75
Baa'baa'bu'ran	Moxie + 10 + ML, capped at 100 + ML	Muscle + 10 + ML, capped at 100 + ML	Mainstat/4	Def * 0.75
Clan of Cave Bars	Moxie + 20 + ML * 5, capped at 200 + ML * 5	Muscle + 20 + ML * 5, capped at 200 + ML * 5	Mainstat/4	Def * 0.75		Once per day
Low Level Bee Monsters	Moxie + ML, uncapped	Muscle + ML, uncapped	Mainstat/4	Def * 0.75
Mid Level Bee Monsters	Moxie + 20 + ML, uncapped	Muscle + 20 + ML, uncapped	Mainstat/4	Def * 0.75
High Level Bee Monsters	Moxie + 40 + ML, uncapped	Muscle + 40 + ML, uncapped	Mainstat/4	Def * 0.75
Baron von Ratsworth	Moxie + (3 + number of ascensions, max 12)	Muscle + (3 + number of ascensions, max 12)	Mainstat/4	HP * 1.25	80
The Guy Made Of Bees	100,000	100,000	40	100,000	0
Sorceress Tower Monsters	100,000	100,000	40	100,000	0
Your Shadow	Special	Special	200	395	150%
Naughty Sorceress, Form 1	~190	~180	0	~416	Infinite
Naughty Sorceress, Form 2	~205	~195	0	~620	Infinite
Naughty Sorceress, Form 3	1,000,000	1,000,000	500	1,000,000	Infinite
Crimbco Cubicles Monsters (without a CRIMBCO lanyardequipped)	9-11	9-11	Atk/4	9-11	?
Crimbco Cubicles Monsters (with a CRIMBCO lanyardequipped)	Moxie	Muscle	Atk/4	0.75 * Muscle	?
The Candy Dioramamonsters (with a tourmalime tourniquet equipped)	Moxie	Muscle	Atk/4	0.75 * Muscle	?
Sloppy Seconds Diner monsters	Mox+5 (10~11111) +ML	Mus+5 (10~11111) +ML	Mainstat/4	Def * 0.75	0
The Deep Dark Jungle monsters	Mox+5 (10~11111) +ML	Mus+5 (10~11111) +ML	Mainstat/4	Def * 0.75	0
Investigating a Plaintive Telegram (easy) monsters	Mox+5+ML, ? min	Mus+5+ML, ? min	?	Def * 0.75	?
Investigating a Plaintive Telegram (mod) monsters	Mox+25+ML, ? min	Mus+25+ML, ? min	?	Def * 0.75	?
Investigating a Plaintive Telegram (hard) monsters	Mox+50+ML, 180 min	Mus+50+ML, 180 min	?	Def * 0.75	?
slime blob	Mox+2+ML, capped at 1000+ML	Mus+2+ML, capped at 1000+ML	Mainstat/4	Def * 0.75	0
terrible mutant	Mox+15+ML, capped at 1000+ML	Mus+15+ML, capped at 1000+ML	Mainstat/4	Def * 0.75	0
government bureaucrat	Mox+1+ML, capped at 1000+ML	Mus+1+ML, capped at 1000+ML	Mainstat/4	Def * 0.75	0
angry ghost	Mox+1+ML, capped at 1000+ML	Mus+1+ML, capped at 1000+ML	Mainstat/4	Def * 0.75	0
annoyed snake	Mox+5+ML, capped at 1000+ML	Mus+5+ML, capped at 1000+ML	Mainstat/4	Def * 0.75	0
Sausage goblin	Mox+11+ML, capped at 10 000+ML	Mus+11+ML, capped at 10 000+ML	Mainstat/4	Def * 0.75	0
biker	Mox+20+ML, capped at 20 000+ML	Mus+20+ML, capped at 20 000+ML	Mainstat/4	Def * 0.75	0
burnout	Mox-5+ML, capped at 20 000+ML	Mus-5+ML, capped at 20 000+ML	Mainstat/4	Def * 0.75	0
jock	Mox+ML, capped at 20 000+ML	Mus+ML, capped at 20 000+ML	Mainstat/4	Def * 0.75	0
party girl	Mox+10+ML, capped at 20 000+ML	Mus+10+ML, capped at 20 000+ML	Mainstat/4	Def * 0.75	0
"plain" girl	Mox-10+ML, capped at 20 000+ML	Mus-10+ML, capped at 20 000+ML	Mainstat/4	Def * 0.75	0
Witchess Pawn	Mox+2+ML, capped at 200+ML	Mus+2+ML, capped at 200+ML	Mainstat/4	Def * 0.75	0
Witchess Knight	Mox+5+ML, capped at 400+ML	Mus+5+ML, capped at 400+ML	Mainstat/4	Def * 0.75	0
Witchess Bishop	Mox+7+ML, capped at 600+ML	Mus+7+ML, capped at 600+ML	Mainstat/4	Def * 0.75	0
Witchess Rook	Mox+7+ML, capped at 600+ML	Mus+7+ML, capped at 600+ML	Mainstat/4	Def * 0.75	0
Witchess Ox	1	Mus+5+ML, capped at 5000+ML	Mainstat/4	Def0.75(10 to 20), minimum of 2500	0
Witchess King	Mox+20+ML, capped at 6,000+ML	Mus+20+ML, capped at 6,000+ML	Mainstat/4	2000	0
Witchess Queen	Mox+40+ML, capped at 8,000+ML	Mus+40+ML, capped at 8,000+ML	Mainstat/4	4000	0
Witchess Witch	Mox+30+ML, capped at 7,000+ML	Mus+30+ML, capped at 7,000+ML	Mainstat/4	4000	0

Notes

The basic outline: a scaling monster's attack matches your moxie, and its defense matches your muscle, plus or minus a (typically small constant) factor, and often subject to minimum/maximum caps.
Monster Level modifiers affect most, but not all, scaling monsters. These adjustments typically apply after the min/max caps.
Your stat gains from most scaling monsters are calculated as if the monster's attack were equal to your character's buffed main stat (often subject to the same min/max caps as the monster's actual stats).
- Stat gains from scaling monsters are calculated based on your stats at the end of the combat. Even Stat-increasing sources applied during or after the fight (such as Giant Growth (effect)or a Crazy Horse stat buff) will increase the stats gained, if applicable.
- Similarly, stat gains from the Hovering Sombrero are calculated using buffed main stat and bonus ML.
Apart from the specific deviations listed below, these monsters are believed to, in every other respect, obey standard game mechanics.
The Hovering Sombrero often gives bonus stats based on Monster Level even for monsters with an XP amount that does not match their true Attack value. (Using a sombrero against tower guardians is therefore quite lucrative.)