Interactive KOL Ascension Checklist

You have Chewing gum on a string and a Hermit permit from The Market

Obtain a Worthless gewgaw, Knick-knack or Trinket, then go to the Hermitage and trade for Sweet rims^*

This can be done while Beaten Up.
If you have hacked the Hermit you wont need a permit.
You can choose 3 items from the Sewer with a Ten-leaf clover

Bitchin' Meatcar Quest

You have Chewing gum on a string and a Hermit permit from The Market

Obtain a Worthless gewgaw, Knick-knack or Trinket, then go to the Hermitage and trade for Dingy planks^*

This can be done while Beaten Up.
If you have hacked the Hermit you wont need a permit.
You can choose 3 items from the Sewer with a Ten-leaf clover

You have Chewing gum on a string and a Hermit permit from The Market

Obtain a Worthless gewgaw, Knick-knack or Trinket, then go to the Hermitage and trade for a Seal tooth^*, Chisel^*, Petrified noodles^*, JabaĆ±ero pepper^*, Banjo strings^* or a Hot buttered roll^* depending on you class.

This can be done while Beaten Up.
If you have hacked the Hermit you wont need a permit.
You can choose 3 items from the Sewer with a Ten-leaf clover

You have Chewing gum on a string and a Hermit permit from The Market

Obtain a Worthless gewgaw, Knick-knack or Trinket, then go to the Hermitage and trade for a Ten-leaf clover^*.

Not required in Bad Moon.
You may also find a clover from The Barrel full of Barrels, or The Shore, Inc.'s Distant Lands Dude Ranch Adventure.

Obtain a Pagoda

The Casino - Lemon Party Slot

You have a Casino pass the Epic Weapon Hermit Itemand a Clover.

Obtain a Big rock.
Meatsmith the Rock and Hermit item, then Smith the result with your Starting Weapon to make your Epic Weapon.

This can be done while Beaten Up
You start witha Big rock in Bad Moon.

The Sleazy Back Alley

Encounter Please, Hammer to obtain Harold's hammer head and Harold's hammer handle. Paste them to create Harold's hammer.

Harold's Hammer Quest

The Sleazy Back Alley

You have Harold's hammer.

Encounter Don't Hurt 'Em and obtain Harold's bell.

Harold's Hammer Quest

The Haunted Pantry

Outskirts of Cobb's Knob

The Haunted Kitchen

Main Stat 5
Unlocked Spookyraven Manor.

Obtain a Chef's hat^* by encountering Trespasserchoosing 'Tackle him' to fight a Knob Goblin Assistant Chef or choose 'Wait and see what happens'

Obtain a Chef's hat^* from a Knob Goblin Assistant Chef

Obtain a Chef's hat^* from a Zombie chef

+Item Drops

Unlock Spookyraven Manor Second Floor

+Item Drops

Obtain a Chef-in-the-box

The Haunted Pantry

Encounter The Manor in Which You're Accustomed to unlock Spookyraven Manor.

Always occurs within 3-14 adventures.

Outskirts of Cobb's Knob

Encounter Code Red and obtain a Knob Goblin encryption key.

Always occurs within 3-15 adventures.

The King of Cobb's Knob Quest

The Spooky Forest

Level 2
Started the Spooky Forest Quest.

Obtain a Spooky sapling some Spooky-Gro fertilizer^* and the Spooky Temple map . Use the map to gain access to the The Hidden Temple.

+Non-combat Frequency
The Spooky Temple map drop is a Superlikely encounter

Spooky Temple Map Quest

The Spooky Forest

Level 2
Started the Spooky Forest Quest.

Encounter A Three-Tined Fork, select 'Take the dark path' then 'Investigate the Bushes' to obtain a Stolen accordion.

A Superlikely encounter (25%).
Can also be obtained from The Sewer, (Automaticaly with a Ten-leaf clover)
Can be replaced with a Rock and Roll Legend, or the Squeezebox of the Ages.

The Typical Tavern (Post Quest)

The Spooky Forest

Level 2
Started the Spooky Forest Quest.

Encounter Rock-a-bye Larva and obtain a Mosquito larva

A Superlikely encounter (25%)

Spooky Forest Quest

The Typical Tavern

Level 3

Explore the Darkness until you encounter the Rat Faucet.

Leave the Faucet alone to find Baron Von Ratsworth.

Typical Tavern Quest

Level 3
Completed the The Typical Tavern quest

Obtain 2 Beer lenses from the A guy walks up to you at a bar... encounter.

Obtain a Bartender-in-the-box

Main Stat 10
Passed the Second GuildTask (Main Stat 9), Started the Meatcar Quest and visited the Untinker to start this quest

Obtain a Rusty screwdriver from the Screwdriver, wider than a mile encounter and return to the Untinker to unlock his services

A Superlikely encounter (25%).
Can be obtained from Innabox - Inside Degrassi Knoll under a Muscle sign

Untinker Quest

Main Stat 10
Started the Meatcar Quest

Obtain a Frilly skirt^* and a Maiden wig^* from a Gnollish Crossdresser.

+Item Drops, +Combat Frequency,
Can be bought from the Degrassi Knoll General Store. The Frilly skirtcan also be found in the Orcish Frat House.

Obtain a Meat Maid

Main Stat 10
Started the Meatcar Quest

Obtain a Spring^* from a Gnollish toolbox, droped by a Gnollish Gearhead or during the Gnollish Workshop encounter.

Can be bought from Degrassi Knoll General Store and is also found in the Thugnderdom.

Obtain a Bartender-in-the-box

Main Stat 10
Started the Meatcar Quest

Obtain a Spring^* from a Gnollish toolbox, droped by a Gnollish Gearhead or during the Gnollish Workshop encounter.

Can be bought from Degrassi Knoll General Store and is also found in the Thugnderdom.

Obtain a Chef-in-the-box

Main Stat 10
You have a Degrassi Knoll shopping list from your Guild. You have Sweet rimsand a Meat stack^*

Obtain a Cog^* , Empty meat tank^* , Spring^* , Sprocket^* and Tires^* . Pastethem all with Sweet rims^* and a Meat stack^* to create your Bitchin' meatcar to get access to the Desert Beach

Can be bought from Degrassi Knoll General Store.
Combine 100 meat in your inventory to create a Meat stack.

Bitchin' Meatcar Quest

The Shore, Inc.

Access to the Desert Beach, 500 meat & 3 Adventures per trip, You have Dingy planks.

Sail away on 5 vacations to obtain Dinghy plans. Use them to obtain a Dingy dinghy and get access to the Mysterious Island of Mystery

This can be done while Beaten Up.

The Bat Hole - Guano Junction

Level 4, Main Stat 13
Any Stench resistance

Obtain a Broken skull from a Skullbat and combine with a Skeleton bone to create a Bone rattle.

+Item Drops, +Combat Frequency,
Can be replaced with a Tambourine.

The Bat Hole - Guano Junction

Level 4, Main Stat 13
Any Stench resistance

Obtain 3 Sonars-in-a-biscuit^* and use them to access the Batrat and Ratbat Burrow, the Beanbat Chamber and The Boss Bat's Lair

Stench resistance can be obtained from a Bum cheek (Back Alley), Pine-Fresh air freshener (Entryway) or a Harem veil (Harem)

Boss Bat Quest

Main Stat 15

Obtain a Box from a bugbear-in-the-box,disease-in-the-box or a lemon-in-the-box.

+Item Drops
Gain three from The Boxerencounter with a clover.

Obtain a Bartender-in-the-box

Main Stat 15

Obtain a Box from a bugbear-in-the-box,disease-in-the-box or a lemon-in-the-box.

+Item Drops
Gain three from The Boxerencounter with a clover.

Obtain a Chef-in-the-box

Main Stat 15
You have made your Epic Weapon.

Take your Epic Weapon to your Guild to unlock the "Fun" House.
Obtain clown equipment to recieve a Clownosityrating of 4 or more.

You need Main (Unbuffed) Stat 12to start this quest.
+Item Drops

Unlock Spookyraven Manor Second Floor

Spookyraven Manor - The Haunted Billiards Room

Main Stat 10
Access to Spookyraven Manor.

Obtain a Pool cue^* from the That's your cueencounter and a Handful of hand chalk^* from the Chalkdust wraith(100% drop).
Equip the Cue and use the Chalk to obtain the the Chalky Hand effect (5 adv), continue adventuring until you encounter Minnesota Incorporeals event. Choose 'Let the Ghost Break' then 'Go for a solid' then 'Go for the 8-ball' to get the Spookyraven library key.

A Superlikely encounter (25%).
The Chalkdust wraith has Physical Resistance.

Main Stat 13
Once per day.

Obtain Boris's key from Room 10

Lowest stat of 51 will enable you to pass all tests.

Main Stat 13
Once per day.

Obtain Jarlsberg's key from Room 10

Lowest stat of 51 will enable you to pass all tests.

Main Stat 13
Once per day.

Obtain Jarlsberg's key from Room 10

Lowest stat of 51 will enable you to pass all tests.

Main Stat 13
Once per day.

Obtain Sneaky Pete's key from Room 10

Lowest stat of 51 will enable you to pass all tests.

Main Stat 13
Once per day.

Obtain a Skeleton key^* from Room 3. Can also be made by pasting a Skeleton bone^* and Loose teeth^*.

The Bat Hole - Beanbat Chamber

Main Stat 13

Obtain an Enchanted bean^* from a Beanbat.
At level 10 when you obtain the Giant Trash Quest use the bean to unlock the Beanstalk.

+Item Drops
Alternatively, Zap a Hill of beansdropped by a Knob Goblin Bean Counter in Cobb's Knob Treasury or a Pile of jumping beans from South of The Border.

Giant Trash Quest

The Defiled Nook

Main Stat 18
Haven't completed the Undefile the Cyrpt Quest

Level 7, Main Stat 40
Completed the Undefile the Cyrpt Quest

Level 7, Main Stat 40
During the Undefile the Cyrpt Quest

Obtain a Smart skull^*.

+Item Drops, +Combat Frequency,
Obtained quickly using a Clover in the (Pre-Cyrpt) Cemetary,
A Disembodied brain and a Smart skull can also be obtained from the Cemetary (Post-Cyrpt) with a Clover

Obtain a Meat Maid

The Defiled Nook

Main Stat 18
Haven't completed the Undefile the Cyrpt Quest

Level 7, Main Stat 40
Completed the Undefile the Cyrpt Quest

Level 7, Main Stat 40
During the Undefile the Cyrpt Quest

Obtain a Smart skull^*.

+Item Drops, +Combat Frequency,
Obtained quickly using a Clover in the (Pre-Cyrpt) Cemetary,
A Disembodied brain and a Smart skull can also be obtained from the Cemetary (Post-Cyrpt) with a Clover

Obtain a Bartender-in-the-box

The Defiled Nook

Main Stat 18
Haven't completed the Undefile the Cyrpt Quest

Level 7, Main Stat 40
Completed the Undefile the Cyrpt Quest

Level 7, Main Stat 40
During the Undefile the Cyrpt Quest

Obtain a Smart skull^*.

+Item Drops, +Combat Frequency,
Obtained quickly using a Clover in the (Pre-Cyrpt) Cemetary,
A Disembodied brain and a Smart skull can also be obtained from the Cemetary (Post-Cyrpt) with a Clover

Obtain a Chef-in-the-box

The Defiled Alcove

Main (Unbuffed) Stat 11

Main Stat 18
Haven't completed the Undefile the Cyrpt Quest

Level 7, Main Stat 40
During the Undefile the Cyrpt Quest

Obtain a Grave robbing shovel^* from a Grave rober.

Obtain a Rusty grave robbing shovel^* from a Grave rober zmobie.

The Wizard of Ego

You have a Shovel or a Rusty shovel.

Main Stat 18
Haven't completed the Undefile the Cyrpt Quest

Level 7, Main Stat 40
After the Undefile the Cyrpt Quest

Encounter A Grave Situation to obtain Fernswarthy's key. Return to the guild member who gave you this quest until they unlock The Ruins of Fernswarthy's Tower and give you 500 meat.

The Wizard of Ego

Main Stat 11
Access to Fernswarthy's Tower

Obtain a Disembodied brain^* from a Brainsweeper.
Untinker your Meatcar to get back the Meat engine^*, Paste the Engine^*, Frilly skirt^*, Smart skull^*, Disembodied brain^* and Maiden wig^*together to obtain a Meat Maid^*.

+Item Drops, +Combat Frequency,
Can be obtained quickly using a Clover,
A Disembodied brain and a Smart skull can also be obtained from the Cemetary (Post-Cyrpt) with a Clover

Obtain a Meat Maid

Main Stat 11
Access to Fernswarthy's Tower. You have aCocktailcrafting kit.

Obtain a Disembodied brain^* from a Brainsweeper. Paste all parts with a Cocktailcrafting kit from The Market to obtain a Bartender-in-the-box^*.

+Item Drops, +Combat Frequency,
Can be obtained quickly using a Clover,
A Disembodied brain and a Smart skull can also be obtained from the Cemetary (Post-Cyrpt) with a Clover

Obtain a Bartender-in-the-box

Main Stat 11
Access to Fernswarthy's Tower. You have an E-Z Cook Ovenā¢.

Obtain a Disembodied brain^* from a Brainsweeper. Paste all parts with an E-Z Cook Ovenā¢ from The Market to obtain a Chef-in-the-box^*.

+Item Drops, +Combat Frequency,
Can be obtained quickly using a Clover,
A Disembodied brain and a Smart skull can also be obtained from the Cemetary (Post-Cyrpt) with a Clover

Obtain a Chef-in-the-box

Main Stat 11
Access to Fernswarthy's Tower

Encounter Staring into Nothing, then Into the Maw of Deepness and then Take a Dusty Look!to obtain a dusty old book. Take it back to your guild to recieve the Manual of Labor, Manual of Transmission or the Manual of Dexterity and complete this quest.

The Wizard of Ego

8-Bit Realm

Main Stat 20
Wearing the Continuum transfunctioner

Obtain of 30 White pixels^* and get the Crackpot Mystic to combine them to make a Digital key.

+Item Drops.
Can be crafted at the The Crackpot Mystic's Shed by combining a Red, Green and Blue pixel.

Unlock Cobb's Knob Laboratory

Cobb's Knob - Kitchens

Cobb's Knob - Treasury

Cobb's Knob - Harem

Level 5, Main Stat 20
Used the Cobb's Knob map.

Obtain the Cobb's Knob lab key to gain access to Cobb's Knob Laboratory.

A one time drop in all three areas.
Will automaticaly drop upon defeating the Knob Goblin King if you don't already have it.

Main Stat 15
Wearing enough clown items to get a Clownosity rating of 4 or more.

Encounter Adventurer, $1.99 and select 'Push the nose', then 'Open the door' and defeat The Clownlord Beelzebozo.
Use the final item dropped by Beelzebozo to meatsmith your Legendary Epic Weapon.

+Non-combat Frequency (Maybe?)

The King of Cobb's Knob Quest

Cobb's Knob - Harem

Level 5, Main Stat 20
Used the Cobb's Knob map.

Obtain a Knob Goblin harem veil^* , Knob Goblin harem pants^* and Knob Goblin perfume^*

Outfit dropped by Knob Goblin Harem Girls and A Bard Day's Nightencounter. Perfume just droped by the Harem Girls.
You can quickly get the Perfumewith a Clover

The Bat Hole - The Boss Bat's Lair

Level 4
Used three Sonars-in-a-biscuit

Defeat the Boss Bat

Beefy bodyguard bats drop a high amount of meat

Boss Bat Quest

Whitey's Grove

Main (Unbuffed) Stat 34
Completed the Bitchin' Meatcar Quest.

Encounter It's A Sign! to unlock The Road to the White Citadel.

The Road to the White Citadel

White Citadel Quest

Encountered It's A Sign! in Whitey's Grove.
Yiou have 300 meat.

Encounter Cheetahs Never Lose.
Obtain the massive bag of catnip from a Business hippy.
Encounter Cheetahs Never Lose again.
Encounter Summer Holiday.
Obtain the Hang glider from the eXtreme Sports Orcs.
Encounter Summer Holiday again.
Go to the The White Citadel, purchase a White Citadel Satisfaction Satchel for 300 meat and return it to your guild to complete this quest and obtain a Lucky rabbit's foot.

+Non-combat Frequency and +Combat Frequency alternately.
Item drops are 100% so +Item drops will not help.

White Citadel Quest

The Road to the White Citadel

Orcish Frat House

The Hippy Camp

Started the White Citadel Quest. Encountered It's A Sign! in Whitey's Grove.

Main Stat 30
Access to the Island

Obtain Orcish baseball cap^* , Orcish cargo shorts^* (And Paddle^* from the Frat House) or Filthy knitted dread sack^* and Filthy corduroys^*

Obtain Orcish baseball cap^* , Orcish cargo shorts^* and Homoerotic frat paddle^*

Obtain Filthy knitted dread sack^* and Filthy corduroys^*

+Item Drops, +Combat Frequency,
Higher drop rate on Road to the White Citadel

Only one side's outfit needed
The Frat Boy Ensemble is possible Infiltrationist equipment.

Mysterious Island Quest

The Dungeon Full Of Dungeons - The Enormous Greater-Than Sign

Main (Unbuffed) Stat 45
You have 1000 meat.

Obtain a Plus sign from the Plus? Plus what?encounter and the effect Teleportitis from A big Q encounter.
Continue until you encounter The Oracle Will See You Now and select 'Pay for a major consultation', then use the Plus sign to gain access to The Dungeons of Doom.

Encounters are Superlikely (25%).
Obtain a few Small or Large box to get some Dungeons of Doom potions for The Three Gates.

The Secret of the Dungeons of Doom

The Dungeon Full Of Dungeons - The Dungeons of Doom

Main Stat 44
Access to The Dungeons of Doom. You have 5,000 meat.

Encounter Ouch! You bump into a door! and select 'Buy what appears to be some sort of cloak' for 5,000 meat to fight a Mimic. Defeat it and use the Dead mimic to obtain a Wand.

The Dark Elbow of the Woods

Obtain a Zapping Wand

Level 6, Main Stat 29

Obtain an Eldritch butterknife from the Like Butter encounter

Deep Fat Friars' Gate Quest

The Dark Heart of the Woods

Level 6, Main Stat 29

Obtain a Box of birthday candles from the Candles in the Wind encounter

Deep Fat Friars' Gate Quest

The Dark Neck of the Woods

Level 6, Main Stat 29

Obtain a Ruby W^* from a W imp

+Item Drops, +Combat Frequency,
Can also be obtained from The Deep Fat Friars' Gate.

The Dark Neck of the Woods

Level 6, Main Stat 29

Obtain a Dodecagram from the Dodecahedrariffic! encounter, Visit the Friars and go to The Deep Fat Friars' Gate to complete this quest.

Deep Fat Friars' Gate Quest

The Deep Fat Friars' Gate

Level 6, Main Stat 29
Completed the Friars' Quest

Obtain the a Hey Deze map from the Highway to Hey Deze encounter.

Believed to be a Superlikelyencounter

Obtain a Pagoda

The Deep Fat Friars' Gate

Level 6, Main Stat 29
Completed the Friars' Quest

Obtain Azazel's unicorn , Azazel's lollipop , and Azazel's tutu . Then encounter Bureaucracy of the Damned and follow the pencilnecked demon. You will receive a Steel margarita, Steel lasagna or Steel-scented air freshener depending on your Path.

Azazel's item encounters will occur evry 10 adevtures. Bureaucracy of the Damned occurs 7 adventures later (ragardless of where you adventure)

Obtain Azazel's Steel Item

62(86)

The Cyrpt - The Defiled Cranny

Level 7, Main Stat 40

Encounter Lunchtime and choose 'Try to take him by surprise' to fight the Huge ghuol

If you encounter Go Slow Past the Drawer choose 'Dig through the rubble on the ground' to obtain a Can of Ghuol-B-Goneā¢ which does 62-80 damage against the Huge ghuol

The King of Cobb's Knob Quest

Cobb's Knob - King's Chamber

Level 5
Used the Cobb's Knob map,
Wearing the Harem Girl Disguise and with the Knob Goblin Perfume effect.

Defeat The Knob Goblin King

You can set the The Super-Secret Canadian Mind-Control Device(3,7) to obtain different rewards

64(84)

The Cyrpt - The Defiled Nook

Level 7, Main Stat 40

Encounter Pileup and choose 'Poke the Pile' to fight the Giant skeelton

If you encounter Skull, Skull, Skullchoose 'See what's under the third one' to obtain a rusty bonesawwhich does 60-95 damage to the Giant skeelton

Mt. McLargeHuge- Itznotyerzitz Mine

Level 8, Main Stat 53

Start this quest from the L33t Tr4pz0r then obtain Mining Gear: Miner's helmet^* , a 7-Foot Dwarven mattock^* and Miner's pants^* from the Mine

+Item Drops

Mt. McLargeHuge- Inside of Itznotyerzitz Mine

Level 8, Main Stat 53
Wearing Mining Gear

Obtain two chrome ores^* .

Can be done while Beaten Up.
The Dungeons of Doom potion: Object Detection will make all promising chunks of rock sparkle, 3 of each type of ore will be in adjacent squares

Obtain a Pagoda

Mt. McLargeHuge- Inside of Itznotyerzitz Mine

Level 8, Main Stat 53
Wearing Mining Gear

Obtain three of either Asbestos^*, Chrome^* or Linoleum Ore^* , the L33t Tr4pz0r will tell you which to get

Can be done while Beaten Up.
The Dungeons of Doom potion: Object Detection will make all promising chunks of rock sparkle, 3 of each type of ore will be in adjacent squares

Mt. McLargeHuge- The Goatlet

Level 8, Main Stat 53
Wearing Mining Gear

Encounter Between a Rock and Some Other Rocks and select 'Help the miners clear the rocks away' to unlock The Goatlet.

Spookyraven Manor - The Haunted Library

Main Stat 40
You have the Spookyraven library key.

Encounter Take a Look, it's in a Book! (Fall)select 'Read "The Fall of the House of Spookyraven"' then select 'Chapter 2 - Stephen and Elizabeth' to unlock the Polo Tombstone encounter in The Haunted Conservatory.

Unlock the Haunted Gallery

Spookyraven Manor - The Haunted Conservatory

Main Stat 6
Unlocked Polo Tombstone in the Haunted Library

Encounter Polo Tombstone to obtain the Spookyraven gallery key and unlock the The Haunted Gallery.

Occurs within ~2-12 adventures.

Unlock the Haunted Gallery

Spookyraven Manor - The Haunted Library

Main Stat 40
You have the Spookyraven library key.

Encounter Take a Look, it's in a Book! and click on the third book from the left on the top shelf in the bookshelf image to enable use of the metal reinforced staircase leading to Spookyraven Manor, Second Floor.

Unlock Spookyraven Manor Second Floor

65(86)

The Cyrpt - The Defiled Alcove

Level 7, Main Stat 40

Encounter Doublewide and choose 'Open it up' to fight the Conjoined zmombie

If you encounter Turn Your Head and Coffin choose 'Look in the wet one' to obtain a Half-rotten brainwhich does 60-80 damage to the Conjoined zmombie

66(84)

The Cyrpt - The Defiled Niche

Level 7, Main Stat 40

Encounter Lich in the Niche and choose 'Get his attention and throw down' to fight the Gargantulihc

If you encounter Urning Your Keepchoose 'Check out the second one' to obtain a plus-sized phylacterywhich kills the Gargantulihc

Mt. McLargeHuge- The Goatlet

Level 8, Main Stat 53

Obtain six Goat cheese^* from Dairy goats and return to the L33t Tr4pz0r

+Item Drops

The Obligatory Pirate's Cove

Main Stat 45
Access to the Island.

Obtain Swashbuckling Getup: Eyepatch^* , Swashbuckling pants^* and a Stuffed shoulder parrot^* .

The Eyepatch can also be obtained from Degrassi Knoll

The Obligatory Pirate's Cove (in disguise) - Barrrtleby's Barrrgain Bookstore

Level 9
Access to the Island.
Wearing Swashbuckling Getup. You have 1000 meat. Completed the Untinker Quest.

Buy an Abridged dictionary for 1000 Meat and take it to the Untinker's Cottage who will untinker it into a Bridge and a Dictionary. Take the Bridge to The Orc Chasm to get access to the The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm.

Mt. McLargeHuge- The eXtreme Slope

Level 8, Main Stat 53

Obtain eXtreme Cold-Weather Gear^* or eXtreme Bi-Polar Fleece Vest^* and return to the L33t Tr4pz0r to complete this quest

Can be replaced with any amount of Cold Resistance.

The Obligatory Pirate's Cove (in disguise) - Barrrney's Barrr

Access to the Island.
Wearing Swashbuckling Getup. You have 500 meat.

Firstly purchase The Big Book of Pirate Insults^*from Barrrtleby's Barrrgain Bookstore for 500 meat.
Adventure at Barrrney's Barrr using the Insult book on each pirate to collect as many different Retorts as possible. The correct Retorts will make you Embarrassed.

+Combat Frequency
Retorts Collected:
Obviously neither...
It can't be any worse...
That reminds me...
I'd've thought yellow...
I'm not really comfortable...
It's an honor to...
Amazing! How do you...
It only seems...

The Obligatory Pirate's Cove (in disguise) - Barrrney's Barrr

Access to the Island.
Wearing Swashbuckling Getup.
You have at least one set of Infiltrationist equipment.

Encounter You and the Cap'm Make it Hap'm to obtain Cap'm Caronch's Map , use it and defeat the Booty crab and obtain Cap'm Caronch's nasty booty . Continue at the Barrrto obtain the Orcish Frat House blueprints from This Adventure Bites encounter.
Use the Blueprints:
If you are wearing the Frat Boy Ensemble^*select 'Attempt a frontal assault',
if you are wearing a Mullet wig^* and have a Briefcase^* select 'Go in through the side door',
if you are wearing a Frilly skirt^* and have at least 3 Hot wings^* select 'Catburgle' and obtain Cap'm Caronch's dentures.

The Obligatory Pirate's Cove (in disguise) - Barrrney's Barrr

Access to the Island.
Wearing Swashbuckling Getup, you have Cap'm Caronch's dentures.

Encounter Arrr You Man Enough? and select 'Step up' to play Insult Beer Pong with Old Don Rickets.
Use the Retorts you gained from the pirates earlier to win and gain access to The F'c'le.

Rickets' Insult:	Your Response:
Arrr, the power...	Obviously neither...
Do ye hear that...	It can't be any worse...
Suck on this...	That reminds me...
The streets will...	I'd've thought...
Yer face is as foul...	I'm not really...
When I'm through...	It's an honor to...
In all my years...	Amazing! How do you...
Not a single man...	It only seems...

The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm

Level 9, Main Stat 68
Used the Bridge.

Obtain a Lowercase N^* from an XXX pr0n.

+Item Drops, +Combat Frequency,

The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm

Level 9, Main Stat 68
Used the Bridge.

Obtain two 334 scrolls^*, a 30669 scroll^* and a 33398 scroll^*. Use the scrolls against the Rampaging adding machine to obtain a 64735 scroll. Use it to summon the Baron and complete this quest.

+Item Drops

(334 + 334 = 668) +
(30669 + 33398 = 64067)
= 64735 scroll

The Dictionary causes 30-60 damage to all creatures here except the Adding machine.

Orc Chasm Quest

The Cyrpt - The Haert of the Cyrpt

Level 7
Defeated the Gargantulihc, Giant skeelton, Huge ghuoland the Conjoined zmombie

Defeat The Bonerdagon

You can set the The Super-Secret Canadian Mind-Control Device(5,10) to obtain different rewards

The Obligatory Pirate's Cove (in disguise) - The F'c'le

107

Have access to The F'c'le.

Obtain Ball polish from a Creamy pirate, Rrigging shampoo from a Cleanly pirate and a Mizzenmast mop from a Curmudgeonly pirate and use them all.
Encounter A Fledgling Pirate Is You! to obtain Pirate fledges and gain access to The Poop Deck.

Ready the Guy Made Of Bees

107

Spookyraven Manor - The Haunted Bathroom

Main Stat 68
Access to Spookyraven Manor, Second Floor

Prepare The Guy Made Of Bees to use flyers on for the Island Arena Quest.
Encounter Having a Medicine Ball and select 'Say Guy made of bees' of 4 times

+Non-combat Frequency
If you stun him then use an Antique hand mirror^* you can use the flyers and defeat him.

127

The Beanstalk - The Penultimate Fantasy Airship

Level 10, Main Stat 90
Have access to The Beanstalk.

Obtain a Metallic A^* from a MagiMechTech MechaMech